A Day in the Times of Being Carnivorous, Oh No Coronavirous

My mother is quite a fan of the idiot box. Somewhere there is a discussion between her and the neighborhood aunty. The conversation goes like this: "Yen Maa Sumathi, indha Sujatha vaa ava maamiyar kollai pannitaal(Sumathi you know this Sujatha has been murdered by her mother in law. I am perplexed, a discussion and that too a murder being discussed as simple as a walk in the park. Then I quickly understand that its a TV serial that is being discussed.

I let that pass and understand the adventures of working from home. Quickly I want to adapt myself to maybe a changing lifestyle that could perhaps stay with me for more than a month, who knows? Summer Holidays have been declared a month earlier and I have to also deal with the constant chatter, laughter, shrieks of two straddling teenagers. I wish I could work in a serene, peaceful environment and home is far away from it. "Dai Rahul" screams my younger son Dhruvan. "Naa Jail laa iruken daa, avana pottu thalu"(I am in Jail pls finish him) Now any stranger to such a conversation would mean, the roof collapsing and perhaps a panic situation. Chill Dhruvan is all up to playing a new game on his Play Station.

My mother is at it again trying to crack the Coronavirus code, switching deftly between channels she goes Republic where Arnab gives his vocal chords a new high and imploring that the Nation wants to know, whether the nation really wants to know or not is another question. Little Miss Corona will make a quick appearance to all the pleads of Arnab. My mother though is quite anxious as to whether Carnivorous will make a landing at Chennai. By the time I explain its not Carnivorous but Coronavirus Italy has jumped up by ten times from its original figure.

Somewhere in the south a chief minister makes a televised appeal. "Have a paracetamol, the coronavirus will be defeated," elsewhere cow urine is much sought after as having healing properties to work against the dreaded disease.(Shhhh Last heard a few doctors leaving their profession after hearing these innovative solutions) I have never ever thought as much about washing my hands but this is perhaps the ……. forget it I have lost count of how many times I have washed my hands today. Never have I imagined that I would be carrying a sanitizer in my pocket. Perhaps Bachchan saab may have pulled out a gun with his left hand, I can only pull out a sanitizer.

In between my boss Prithi calls up "TBK How are you, All Well?" she enquires with a lot of concern. "Don't come to office" "Work from home" Genuine well wisher, I could never be more lucky in having such a wonderful Boss. "Prithi Can I work from office?" I make a pleading request. I really don't understand how this work from home works. In between I need to get a quick signatures from the Bosses husband who incidentally is the worlds best spinner. So quickly I rush to Ashwin, in between remember to pick up a pen, me and my forgetful memory.

A quick call to a colleague and a social media geek, Sudarshan. He seems to be quite shaken by Corona and how it may invade all our houses. He is the data man. In the best of times he will have all the cricket related data at the back of his mind, now that takes a backseat, a good time for the young man to unwind with books. A reminder to watch Contagion and me taking a pledge not to watch it. The Janta Curfew is a huge success, India comes to a halt. Barring the odd horn, a crow cawing, I hear nothing else. At 5 pm I decide to take up the accordion, a plate and a spoon to express my gratitude to all those who continue to work and serve us. Thank you. In other places I hear that India had just won the world cup as hordes of people rush on to the street waving the national tricolor. Am I on Mars when Prime Minister Modi made a televised announcement on Earth about the importance of staying on Earth.

I never really knew that walls could be defecated when you feel like and the Freedom to spit from your balcony was a birthright. When will India awake. All these and more like crowd gatherings are open invitations for a royal wedding with Ms. Corona. On the TV I see people clamber on to the roofs of buses, stuffing boxes through windows. Poor things they have never seen buses in their lives nor will their be a next bus. A rare sneeze in the apartment, a loud cough seems louder. All ears on which flat it is coming from. Suddenly a cough or a sneeze becomes the most feared sound in the world.

This shall also pass. Normal life shall return. People will be back at work. Children will be back at schools and colleges. Ashwin will be back with his lethal spell of spin bowling and bamboozling batsmen. I will be back to my bread and butter job. There will hopefully be a change in the way people lead a clean and healthier life. Lessons learnt the hard way but definitely for the better.